Start By Believing News Feed

Notre Dame and Penn State: Two Rape Scandals, Only One Cry for Justice

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 00:00:00 -0800

Here's another powerful, and well-written piece saying out loud what needs to be said: "But the cone of silence that surrounds a company college football town is not enough to understand why Penn State’s rape scandal was front-page news the second the Sandusky scandal went public and Notre Dame has been largely protected by the press. The only answer that makes sense is that raping women has become "normalized" in our culture while raping little boys has not."

http://www.thenation.com/blog/172042/notre-dame-and-penn-state-two-rape-scandals-only-one-cry-justice#

San Luis Obispo Rape Crisis Agency Launches "Start By Believing" Campaign

Tue, 08 Jan 2013 00:00:00 -0800

SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. -- Central Coast lawyers and rape victim advocates are reeling over videos, tweets and photos documenting an alleged rape of a 16-year-old girl in Steubenville, Ohio.

"It's horrifying to see the attitudes that we have in our culture," says SARP psychologist Kimberly Lonsway. "Many people describe it as a rape culture where we go to great lengths to deny that rape exists, to trivialize it, to minimize it's impact...even to the point of turning it into a joke."

With 286 rape crisis interventions last year alone, San Luis Obispo Sexual Assault and Rape Prevention (SARP) is launching a campaign to end sexual violence called "Start By Believing".

"If somebody discloses they've been sexually assaulted, you need to start by believing them," says SARP Associate Executive Director Jesse Torrey. "And if they are responded to with support, with validation, with 'how can I help?', with 'this wasn't your fault'...that's the road to healing.

http://www.kcoy.com/story/20512737/san-luis-obispo-rape-crisis-agency-launches-start-by-believing-campaign

I Was Wounded; My Honor Wasn't by SOHAILA ABDULALI, NY Times Op-Ed

Tue, 08 Jan 2013 00:00:00 -0800

Rape is horrible. But it is not horrible for all the reasons that have been drilled into the heads of Indian women. It is horrible because you are violated, you are scared, someone else takes control of your body and hurts you in the most intimate way. It is not horrible because you lose your “virtue.” It is not horrible because your father and your brother are dishonored. I reject the notion that my virtue is located in my vagina, just as I reject the notion that men’s brains are in their genitals.

If we take honor out of the equation, rape will still be horrible, but it will be a personal, and not a societal, horror. We will be able to give women who have been assaulted what they truly need: not a load of rubbish about how they should feel guilty or ashamed, but empathy for going through a terrible trauma.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/08/opinion/after-being-raped-i-was-wounded-my-honor-wasnt.html?emc=tnt&tntemail1=y&_r=1&

A response from EVAWI's Board President

Tue, 18 Dec 2012 00:00:00 -0800

End Violence Against Women International's Board President, Roger Canaff blogged recently on a really disturbing piece on a site called, "The Good Men Project." It is relevant to the Start by Believing Campaign as SBB continues to Strengthening the System … By Improving the Response.

Please read his blog post here: http://rogercanaff.com/site/2012/12/nonsense-at-the-good-men-project-nice-guys-commit-rape-too/

Start By Believing by Melanie Burnett

Tue, 13 Nov 2012 00:00:00 -0800

What would you do if someone confided in you that he or she was raped? What thoughts would pass through your mind? What would you say and how would you respond? I urge you to give this scenario deep consideration. A majority of people who are sexually assaulted confide in a friend or family member first. The response of the confidant is crucial to the victimâ€™s healing and reporting of the crime.

The sexual assault team at William Newton Hospital wants to give some of the control that is taken away from victims back. Giving the patient a sense of empowerment while the nurse is taking care of his or her physical and emotional needs is paramount in forensic nursing. A Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) is required to bridge the medical and legal worlds while offering compassionate care.

For more of this story, click on or type the URL below:

http://www.winfieldcourier.com/articles/2012/11/10/people/people/doc509dc07a8aac1082364234.txt

At First Glance...

Thu, 11 Oct 2012 07:00:00 -0700

As I sat down to write today, I began where I always do, from my experiences as a sexual assault advocate. I thought of many, many survivors that I have responded to, either to provide face-to-face advocacy or while on the crisis line. Today, I thought of one woman in particular.

This woman had been assaulted in her home, and after the perpetrator left, she crawled to her neighbor’s house for help – though she never told them she had been sexually assaulted.

When patrol officers enforcement arrived at the scene, it was very chaotic. At first impression, the officers believed she was overly intoxicated and disturbance.

This victim was from a rural area, where everyone knows each other. A year before the sexual assault, she had been arrested for driving while intoxicated. After her arrest, she was labeled in town as a drunk.

After talking with the neighbors and the victim, and fully investigating the scene, the officers realized that she was a victim of sexual assault and took her to the emergency department. She presented with injuries as a result of the sexual assault, and after being medically cleared, she was taken to the SANE facility.

I responded to the SANE facility, and remained with her during the medical forensic exam. After the exam took place, I stayed with her while the responding officer took her statement.

This particular case struck me because of the way the responding officer began the process of taking her statement. First, he explained his perspective of responding to her home after her neighbors called 911. He explained what the victim looked like when the officers arrived – that the victim appeared to be highly intoxicated. He then, very carefully, explained that he remembered her from her arrest the year before, because he was the officer that pulled her over and arrested her for driving under the influence. He said very clearly “what happened then has nothing to do with what I am here for today. I am here to listen to you, and help you after what happened to you.”

This was an amazingly helpful statement to make the victim feel more comfortable, and let her know that he believed her. You could visually see the tension release in her body. She then told the officer everything she remembered about the assault. I believe she told the officer everything because she knew he believed her and cared about what she had to say.

To other advocates and survivors out there, we would like to hear examples of when law enforcement officers, medical providers, family members, and friends chose to Start by Believing. You can either leave a comment here, or leave a post on the Start by Believing Facebook page.

Written by Alison Jones-Lockwood, EVAWI Social Media & Outreach Coordinator

Start by Believing Needs Your Support!

Fri, 05 Oct 2012 11:00:00 -0700

As many of you know, Start by Believing is a public awareness campaign created by End Violence Against Women International (EVAWI) and designed to change the way we respond to rape and sexual assault in our communities.

“My name is Jimmy. I am a Deputy Sheriff with the Hardeman County Sheriff's Department in Texas. When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing.”

This program is critical and needs your support. You can donate through EVAWI’s Combined Federal Campaign Designation # 11400. The Campaign Locator will assist you in identifying the CFC program in your area. More information is available on the CFC page at our website.

In case you are unfamiliar with the CFC, it is the U.S. federal government’s workplace giving program. The CFC presents an opportunity for federal employees and military personnel to support the causes they believe in. If you’re not a federal employee or military member, but still want to give to Start by Believing, you can spread the word to any friends, family members, or colleagues who are. You can also support the campaign by sharing this blog within your own social media network.

Your generous donation, however large or small, will allow us to continue to raise awareness of the realistic dynamics of sexual assault so victims are not blamed and perpetrators are held accountable.

With $25 we can ship 500 bookmarks to spread the message of Start by Believing.

With $100, we can work with local community professionals and provide the materials they need to launch their own Start by Believing campaign.

With $500 we can ensure that our website will continue to offer a space for people to share their stories and make personal commitments to Start by Believing.

“My name is Lisa. I am an advocate for people with disabilities. When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing.”

Thank You

With your support, we can work to change the way we respond to victims of rape and sexual assault, by informing the public, uniting allies and supporters, and improving our personal reactions. The goal is to change the world, and outcomes for victims, one response at a time.

Even if you are unable to make a financial contribution, you can support the campaign by spreading the word and engaging people in the difficult conversations that are required to create change. Thank you.

Rape Crisis Centers Drive "Start by Believing" Agenda

Thu, 04 Oct 2012 07:00:00 -0700

Growing out of the passionate activism of the civil rights and women's movements, rape crisis centers began popping up in cities all over the US in the 1970s. Anti-sexual violence work has come a long way since then. Cross-disciplinary partnerships among law enforcement, medical providers and advocates are a best practice, and sexual violence is better understood than ever before. But rape crisis centers continue to play a vital role in healing individuals and helping communities address sexual violence.

Cleveland Rape Crisis Center supports survivors, promotes prevention and healing, and creates social change. Rape crisis centers like ours across the country are unique havens where survivors can be assured that they will be unconditionally believed and supported, and they will receive compassionate, expert care. When a client walks through our doors, our work with them starts by believing. Education and outreach programs of rape crisis centers encourage individuals, systems, and the media to start by believing. Today, rape crisis centers work hand-in-hand with other disciplines, but as independent organizations we continue to have a vital role in advocating for change when a survivor is not believed or supported.

With "starting by believing" and demanding that others do the same, rape crisis centers can be catalysts for sweeping change for survivors. Media and systems advocacy, specifically, can be powerful tools in creating change. A high profile serial rape and murder case in our community - and Cleveland Rape Crisis Center's response - heightened public understanding of sexual violence and created awareness about the need for better police policies and procedures related to sex crimes. This led to vast changes within Cleveland Division of Police (CDP) including technology and communication updates, a renovation of the sex crimes unit, a full-time advocate embedded in the department, addition of personnel, and increased community outreach.

Building upon CPD's work, through a partnership with our County Executive and Police Chief's Association, more than 50 municipalities across Cuyahoga County came together to craft a model county-wide policy for responding to and investigating sex crimes, with an emphasis on non-stranger sexual assault. As cities work to implement this new policy and train personnel, we will see a more uniform and high-quality standard response to victims - rooted in the philosophy that we must "Start by Believing."

Cleveland Rape Crisis Center commends local law enforcement for taking steps to craft policies that support victims and create a better climate for them to come forward. However, we know that the majority of our therapy clients do not choose to report their assault to police because of fear. We greatly respect and support their choices, but also realize that if we want to end sexual violence, we need to do more to shift the victim-blaming culture that still exists in individuals and institutions. Representative Akin's uneducated and rape-myth-filled comments about "legitimate" rape last month remind us that many are still quick to question the victim and that rape crisis centers need to continue to demand we all "start by believing."

Megan O’Bryan is President/CEO of Cleveland Rape Crisis Center (CRCC). She holds a master’s degree in nonprofit management from the Mandel Center for Nonprofit Organizations at Case Western Reserve University, and a bachelor’s degree in English Literature from Catholic University of America, Washington D.C. O’Bryan joined CRCC staff in 2001. Prior to serving as CEO, O’Bryan was the agency’s director of resource development, and a volunteer crisis hotline advocate.

Technology and Social Media: How They Enhance Our Work

Thu, 27 Sep 2012 06:00:00 -0700

This week, my hard drive crashed. At first, I was in a panic. How would I do my work without my computer, my email, and most importantly, all my files? After several anxious minutes, I realized I had options. First, I am fortunate enough to possess a smart phone and a tablet – both of which allow me to check my email and fulfill my social media responsibilities on a daily basis. This was quite a relief -- I was worried about what I would miss if I wasn’t connected for several days. That got me thinking though: What did we do before smart phones, and before social media? How have technology and social media changed our work?

Technology has created many benefits in our work and also some drawbacks as well. As a person who works on a part-time basis from home, technology allows me to work in my field of choice in a way that fits my professional and personal life, which is very important to me. That is also the downside; it is extremely hard to “shut off” at the end of the day, because emails and tweets don’t just come between 8-5.

However, I think the greatest benefit of technology in our field is for survivors. Traditional services for sexual assault survivors often require survivors to travel -- sometimes for great distances –to access face-to-face individual or group services. With technology, survivors now have more options for support than ever before, such as the RAINN online hotline, online support groups and chat groups, as well as forums to publicly express themselves such as Facebook, Twitter, and blogs.

I know we reach more survivors by using social media, although it’s not always easy to see the benefit. Statistics, like the ones provided below, document that an incredible number of people are using social media. Because this includes survivors, professionals, and community members, it is clear that we must take our messages to social media if we want to reach them. In other words, if your organization doesn’t have an online presence – get started!

A few statistics:

Facebook: 955 million users
Twitter: 140 million users
YouTube: 4 billion views per day
LinkedIn: 175 million users

Technology also provides us working in the field with more options to spread our message. The Start by Believing campaign is a great example of how this has worked effectively. Our website provides the tips and tools local communities need to launch their own Start by Believing campaign, such as this PowerPoint slideshow, which offers an 8-minute introduction to the campaign through powerful words and images, accompanied by music. Our website also provides a forum for survivors to share their personal stories, and a place for professionals and communities to make a commitment to Start by Believing, both of which can be very reassuring to survivors as they make the difficult decision to tell someone that they were sexually assaulted.

And, we must not forget our social media presence. Facebook and Twitter allow us to reach a much larger audience than we would be able to any other way. For example, on Facebook, Start by Believing has 890 friends, but the audience of friends of our fans is over 349,000! That’s an amazing number, and it offers us an exciting opportunity to get the message of the Start by Believing campaign out there – all of which will make an impact on how survivors are treated after they disclose a sexual assault.

Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook, and use #StartbyBelieving when you tweet!

What Start by Believing Means to Me

Thu, 20 Sep 2012 06:00:00 -0700

When the billboards for the Start by Believing campaign went up in Kansas City, it made me take a moment to think about what it really means to believe. We hear and use terms of belief all the time, but what are we really asking of people when we say to start by believing? Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines belief as “a state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing.” What I appreciate about this definition is that it recognizes that belief does not need to be a singular state of mind, but it can be a habitual way of thinking that extends beyond a single event or person. This is important when we are talking about belief in re because far too often we pick and choose the people we are willing to extend our belief to, based on highly biased or misinformed factors. There is a perception in our society about what it means to be a “real victim” of sexual assault. For instance, we are likely to assume that a “real victim” of sexual assault is going to be a female attacked by a male stranger who used a weapon and extensive physical violence to overpower her. We are more likely to believe the survivor if she fought back, if she wasn’t breaking any social “rules,” and if she made an immediate outcry to the police.

What we may not realize is that this very limited perception of what a “real victim” looks like does not fit the experiences of the vast majority of sexual assault survivors. Because survivors are as diverse as our society, they can be any gender, any ethnicity, and part of any socioeconomic class. We also know that most survivors know their attacker; that no weapon, besides physical force, is used in the vast majority of rapes; and that very few of all sexual assaults or rapes are actually reported to police. Yet, perpetrators are using our tendency to selectively believe survivors to their advantage. Sadly, perpetrators are getting away with these crimes over and over by often targeting victims who are less likely to be believed, such as people who were drunk, people with disabilities, and people with less power or authority to begin with. As long as our first reaction as a society is to question the behavior and legitimacy of the victim of sexual violence instead of assigning responsibility to the perpetrator, we are supporting the rapist and making it easier for others to be victimized. We must extend our belief to everyone who has experienced sexual assault, because the people who are least likely to be believed are often the people who need our support the most. So let’s embrace the spirit of the Start by Believing campaign by making belief of sexual assault survivors a habit, not an exception, so that hopefully one day we won’t need the billboards anymore.

Jessie Funk is the Coordinator of Advocacy Services at the Metropolitan Organization to Counter Sexual Assault (MOCSA). Ms. Funk has national and international experience working in the sexual and domestic violence and women’s rights field for over 8 years, including serving as a state campaign leader for Amnesty International and doing research and training on the topic of sexual violence while in South Africa.

I want to launch a Start by Believing campaign in my own community – but where do I start?

Thu, 13 Sep 2012 06:00:00 -0700

I want to launch a Start by Believing campaign in my own community – but where do I start? We have had countless calls regarding this question! The easiest place to start is by exploring our website. You can start with the materials page, where we offer numerous Start by Believing resources, such as brochures, posters, and postcards available in English and Spanish. These resources are available to you free of charge – you just pay the postage. You will also want to check out the overview we prepared on our handout: Simple Steps to Help Our Communities Start by Believing. Some of the ways to get started include: · Mentioning our campaign at speaking engagements and trainings. · Informing survivors of the campaign and directing them to our website. · Encouraging survivors and their families to join the campaign. Have you seen our Start by Believing PowerPoint? This interactive PowerPoint was designed to help you take the important message of the Start by Believing campaign into your own community. Are you wondering what you can do as an individual to spread the word of the Start by Believing campaign? Here are a few examples of how you can participate in the campaign: · Forward our blogs and other social media posts to colleagues, friends, and family members.· Engage in dialogue with us over social media; make sure to “like” our SBB Facebook page and recommend your Facebook friends to “like” it.

· Follow us on Twitter and tweet about us.

· Add a link to our website on your website and in your e-blasts, and promote the campaign in your e-blasts or newsletters.

Red Flags by Guest Blogger Detective Carl Hershman

Thu, 06 Sep 2012 08:00:00 -0700

I have been a law enforcement officer for twenty-six years, ten of those years working sexual assaults, which means that I have personally investigated approximately 1,100 cases. I remember one of the very first sexual assault cases I worked as a detective. After interviewing my victim about her sexual assault, I counted at least ten red flags!

A “red flag” to many police officers could be a big indicator that the victim, witness or the suspect is hiding or lying about something. We expect lying from our suspects but not from our victims and witnesses.

In this case, my victim (I hate when officers say, “the victim” because I take pride in developing a relationship with a victim so that they know I am there for them and I want people to see the victim as a person rather than a case number)–had been sexually assaulted while she was intoxicated, red flag number one. Of course, victims who have been drinking often have memory loss or absolutely no memory of the assault making these cases even more difficult to investigate.

In this first case, my victim was drinking under age. She was only eighteen years old. She told me she was “forced” to consume the alcohol and as we all know this doesn’t happen…red flag number two.

My victim lied to me when I asked her if she had taken any illegal narcotics. She had smoked marijuana…red flag number three.

And the biggest red flag of all, my victim waited three weeks to report the assault! She reported her assault to a school counselor, not to her parents or law enforcement…another red flag. I was also told that my victim had been “grounded” by her parents even though she was an adult, but living at home. Talk about having a motive to make up a story to make her parents feel bad.

I have to admit, I was upset with my victim. Why would she lie to me? I was trying to help her and she was wasting my time. I had “real” victims to help!

I started working the case believing that it in fact it was a “false report.” The more I investigated my “victim”, the more I started removing those red flags, one by one. What I found out was that my victim had been sexually assaulted…just like she said.

What I found out was that for each red flag, there was a simple answer. I found this out because I asked my victim about those red flags, even though at the time I didn’t call them that.

My victim explained she waited to report the assault because she wasn’t sure what had happened and she did not think law enforcement would believe her. Her number one concern was, “Will they believe me?” She didn’t even know or understand that a person could be sexually assaulted while intoxicated. We in law enforcement and many times prosecution, tend to just assume our victims know and understand the law.

My victim was afraid to tell a detective she had been drinking while underage and smoking marijuana, both unlawful activities. My victim stated she didn’t want to get arrested because she wanted to keep her “record” clean for future employment. She had no idea she would not be arrested and prosecuted for her actions even though misdemeanor violations are typically not a concern for me as an investigator.

My victim told me that her parents had nothing to do with her decision to report her assault. She said she reported because she was afraid she would become pregnant or obtain a sexually transmitted infection. The most important thing for my victim was that she wanted to know what happened to her that night and to seek some type of justice by holding the perpetrator accountable.

I was able to do both for her. My victim got justice and I got a lesson in “Sexual Assault 101.” Based on my years of experience, I encourage everyone, but especially law enforcement; to start by believing and address what you believe might be red flags because they may not be so red after all.

I am proud to say that based on this first experience, I have worked hard to make sure that I never allowed myself to fall into this trap again. I start every case by believing. Just because you have been in law enforcement for a number of years, it doesn’t mean you know everything. Remember to keep your heart and mind open. Unfortunately, the next sexual assault victim could be one of your family members or friends. It would be nice if their investigator believed them. Always remember that your next victim is someone’s daughter, wife, mother or sister. By remembering this, I always start by believing.”

In 2004, Detective Hershman implemented the San Diego Police Department’s Sex Crimes Cold Case Unit. Detective Hershman is currently in the Elder Abuse Unit. He continues to provide training to advocates, and is an instructor for Sex Crimes Investigations, Sex Crimes Laws and First Responders to Sex Crimes at the San Diego Regional Law Enforcement Academy. Detective Hershman also speaks at several San Diego area high schools, colleges and universities on the subject of acquaintance rape and alcohol facilitated sexual assault.

Start by Believing - What do you think?

Thu, 30 Aug 2012 08:00:00 -0700

What do you think of when you see this image? Is it startling, or even shocking perhaps? We asked you shortly after our launch, and we’d like to hear from you once again. Share with us, by commenting on this blog post or by posting on our Facebook page.

EVAW International launched the Start by Believing campaign (SBB) in April 2011, during Sexual Assault Awareness Month and in conjunction with the annual International Conference on Sexual Assault, Domestic Violence and Stalking in Chicago, Illinois. Since that launch over a year ago, we have received wonderful feedback about the campaign and how powerful the message is, such as this comment:

“After attending the EVAW Conference in Chicago and learning about the Start by Believing campaign, I knew right away that this was something that needed to be brought to my community in Lake County, IL. As the Coordinator of the Lake County Sexual Assault Council, I have seen tremendous progress made in the development of our protocol to bring together a coordinated community response to ending sexual violence. But, even with all our hard work, we find that victim blaming is still so prevalent. That is why the SBB campaign to raise public awareness is so important at this time. At our April Council meeting, I made a presentation about the SBB Campaign and it was so very well received. A committee was formed with the intent of making sure that the SBB Campaign materials are distributed throughout Lake County, IL. I have already had many requests for the brochures and posters. Our goal is to make sure that our Hospitals, Police Departments, Libraries, Schools, Exchange Clubs, etc. understand the importance of the message by displaying the materials so that the community response will be an educated one.

- Christine Stevenson, Sexual Assault Coordinator, Lake County State’s Attorney’s Office

Several other agencies, such as Domestic Violence Services & Sexual Assault Program in Murfreesboro, TN and the West Virginia Foundation for Rape Information and Services, Inc. (WVFRIS) have also launched their own Start by Believing campaigns.

WVFRIS Table

The SBB campaign has grown tremendously since its launch in April 2011. To date, we have received 937 personal commitments to Start by Believing, such as this one:

“My name is Tracie Diamond. I am a Victim Advocate, military member, and mother of 6! I am dedicated to ensuring that not only my children, but those I work with know how to get help. When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing.”

We have distributed thousands of brochures, posters, and postcards – which are now available in English and Spanish. And, we created a PowerPoint that communities can use in their own SBB campaigns.

Last but not least, we were very excited when Lamar Advertising agreed to partner with us to promote the SBB campaign with 17 billboards throughout the bi-state greater Kansas City metropolitan area, and several others throughout the state of Missouri.

Handle with Care – The Priceless Gift of Trust

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 07:00:00 -0700

Imagine this scenario: you are approached by someone you know and that person says to you, “I was raped.” How would you respond? What thoughts would pass through your mind? What would you say? This situation is one for which I urge you to prepare. Most people who are raped or sexually assaulted confide in a friend or family member first. That confidant’s response is critical to the victim’s healing.

Far too often, victims’ reports of rape or sexual assault are initially questioned or actively doubted. Imagine how devastating it must be to have your power stripped away, to lose all control over your body during such an invasive and intimate violation. Then, afterward, you find the strength and courage to trust someone with this information only to be met with doubt or outright disbelief.

I have heard countless stories from victims who were not believed when they disclosed that they were raped to someone they trusted. Intimate partners sometimes accuse victims of having been unfaithful. Victims may be accused of engaging in high-risk behavior, with the implicit or explicit message being, “What did you expect would happen?” Some victims decide to actively ignore that the assault happened. Some, because they were minors, were denied needed physical health care and the opportunity to have evidence collected, not to mention professional emotional support and psychological care. Others told a peer they considered a trusted friend, only to have their story spread rampantly through their school, work place, or among their acquaintances.

Most rapes and sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows. Even when the offender is a stranger, doubt may be expressed. Why are rape and sexual assault perceived differently from other crimes? Why do friends, family members, and others who are trusted with victims’ reports of these crimes not accept the information at face value? To put it mildly, it’s complicated. Being complicated, however, doesn’t mean it can’t change. You can help change it.

I urge you to seek out information that addresses the many myths surrounding sexual violence. Upgrade your knowledge about this important social issue. Learn more about your own attitudes. Be prepared for the time when someone trusts you after all reason to trust anyone has been stolen from them.

Above all, make the commitment to Start by Believing.

Kathy Bagby has been volunteer since 2000 for the Metropolitan Organization to Counter Sexual Assault (MOCSA), which serves the bi-state greater Kansas City metropolitan area, and has served in a variety of roles throughout the agency. Currently, her primary role is as a Crisis Line Advocate. She was honored by the Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence (KCSDV) as 2012 Volunteer of the Year.

This guest blog was adapted from MOCSA's eMpower blog, originally posted on May 9th, 2012.

A Frustrating Situation...

Thu, 16 Aug 2012 07:00:00 -0700

Several years ago, I was called out to a community-based Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) program to provide advocacy to a young, college-aged woman. She had just begun her freshman year of college, and it was fall, so she had only been away from home for a couple of months. She lived on campus, as all freshmen were required to do at this particular university. The school was quite small and didn’t have traditional sorority or fraternity “houses.” One night, she went to an off-campus get together at an apartment where several men from the same fraternity lived – their version of a fraternity house.

This young woman didn’t have much experience drinking. That night, she and her friends drank mixed drinks out of a paint can. Later, she woke up, upstairs in a room with one of the men on top of her. Her friends came up to look for her, but were stopped by a locked door. While the young woman was upstairs being raped, her friends returned downstairs and asked the other men if they would help them get into the room. Their shocking answer: “no, if we go in there, we’ll get kicked out of the fraternity…”

The young woman didn’t immediately disclose she had been raped. After a lot of encouragement and support from her friends, and a call to the crisis line, she eventually went to the SANE program where I met her.

Going in, I knew she was young, but I wasn’t prepared for just how young she would appear after what she experienced. She’d never had a pelvic exam before. During the exam, she was stoic. She didn’t flinch, grimace, or frown. Her face showed absolutely nothing of what she felt inside.

I remember she excused herself to go to the bathroom (which was luckily across the hall and out of earshot). The SANE and I stared at each other for only a moment before yelling about these men who refused to go get her out of that room…

Often, we focus on how important it is for professionals who work with victims of sexual violence to believe the victim. We must also remember how important it is to connect with the community as well. In this case, these young men needed to stop being bystanders, and believe (maybe they did believe, but were too scared?) that something was happening to that young woman upstairs.

We can probably share thousands of stories just like this. The question is – what are you going to do about it?

Survivor Story By Mary

Thu, 09 Aug 2012 07:00:00 -0700

Hello, My name is Mary and I'm going to tell you my Start by Believing story. I hope that if you take anything from it, you take how important it is to believe and the impact it can have!

The day I told was the scariest day of my life and I had never been so sick to my stomach. I was seventeen years old. Since the age of twelve, I had been sexually and physically abused by my father. I always wanted to tell, but I was so terrified of what might happen, who would believe me?

It took me a few years to weigh my options and to figure out if telling would be better than keeping it a secret. Sounds crazy right? It's so easy to rush to, "well I would have".... You never honestly know until you have been there! The day I told, I had made up my mind. I was never going back to that house. I was a month from being eighteen and I would just hide at a friend’s until then. But it hit me, what will happen to your little sister who is now twelve? The thought of her having to take my place was just too much and I knew what I had to do.

My first class of the day was criminal justice and I decided that I was going to tell my teacher, who was also the school resource officer. I knew that he could help me, or at least I hoped... Well he did! I told him and after the shock of what he had just heard came off his face, he looked at me and said, "Let me make a call" and “Mary, it's going to be ok, don't worry." I had never felt so relieved in my life! And he was and still is a hero to me!

But that wasn't all. That morning, I was also interviewed by DCS and a detective. I'll never forget it, after I told them what had been going on, I must have had a look on my face that said just how scared I was because the detective looked at me and said, “Honey, I believed you from the moment you walked in, don't you worry. You are safe now”. Wow! You have absolutely no idea the weight that was lifted off of my chest at that moment! I knew that I was going to be ok!

Today, almost four years later, I am moving on with my life and turning my story into something positive. I want every victim/survivor to know there is hope and you can make it! Would I be here with this attitude today, if those law enforcement officers wouldn't have acted like they truly cared, or believed me? Probably not, their response to my "secret" is the very reason I have such a positive outlook on life, and to me they will always be heroes!

Be somebody's hero, Start by Believing!

Back in Time...

Thu, 02 Aug 2012 07:00:00 -0700

I was reviewing some of the stories people have shared on the Start by Believing website recently. All of them make such an impact, and are so powerful to read. One particular story, that was only posted a few days ago, jolted me back in time…

“The first question the police officer asked me: Were you wearing underwear? Second question: do you regularly pick up men in bars? That was over 20 years ago, but it's still as vivid as if it were yesterday. Thank you for raising awareness”.

It reminded me of the time when I was a Volunteer Coordinator at a sexual violence agency, and an eager volunteer came in to interview for an advocate position. She began to reflect on the sexual assault she experienced many years earlier, and suddenly it was as if she went back in time and was reliving the assault. This woman had felt she was “over it”, but hadn’t really ever talked about it with anyone before. It was very apparent that even after all those years, she needed help to begin her healing process. What began as a volunteer interview, quickly turned into a crisis intervention session.

Many assume that all advocates are survivors, but this is far from the truth. Of course, some are survivors, but some are not. Rape Crisis Centers and Domestic Violence programs should all be using screening tools to assess the appropriateness of all potential volunteers, survivors or not. The volunteer interview alone is not an effective screening process – 40+ hours of training is a much more thorough screening tool.

In that training class, you may discover a survivor who never identified what he or she experienced as sexual assault. You may discover someone who is experiencing a lot of anger related to the sexual assault. You may also discover that someone simply doesn’t “get it” and is using victim-blaming statements. All of these situations should be further investigated – is this person ready for the important job of being a victim advocate?

Everyone in that class should be given not only information on sexual assault and what it is, but the critical skills of being an advocate and what that really means. I’ve been in training classes where even advocates are judging the victim, blaming them, or making statements that are horribly unsupportive, such as “well, if she’d just left the bar with her friends then…”

We all need to be reminded once in a while how important it is to Start by Believing, every time. Advocates are often quick to point out other professionals who didn’t believe the victim – but we also need to ask ourselves – do I always Start by Believing?

How This Work Changes Us

Thu, 26 Jul 2012 08:00:00 -0700

I was emailing with a friend of mine a couple weeks ago, and she shared a story with me about an experience she had on a recent night out. She was at a bar with her husband, where they witnessed a woman who was barely able to stand up, and was being escorted by a man. My friend’s husband spoke up and said, “That looks sketchy, we better follow them and make sure she’s ok.” My friend helped the woman to the bathroom, and monitored the situation after helping her back to her group. It ended up fine, but it left us both talking about how working in this field completely changes everything – not only for us, but our partners, friends, family, etc.

When you work in this field, in any of the professional disciplines, it has a lifelong impact on you. Even if you only work in this field for a year, it never really leaves you. I have actually tried to “take a break” from this work a couple of times, but always come back to it. I’ve always understood my connection to the work, but I hadn’t really taken time to think about the impact on everyone around me because of what I have chosen as my career.

First, I think of my husband. I think of the times he woke me up as my pager/cell phone went off -- I had grown so used to it I could sleep right through it. It was never just me on-call, he was always on with me.

I think of my parents, who listened to one of my first radio interviews and were shocked at the information I shared about drug facilitated sexual assault. I’ve shared many other facts with them over the years, and yes, my mom reads these blogs regularly.

I think of my daughters, and how I will teach them not only critical safety information in a safe and non-scary way, but also about respect, communication, and the right to say no.

I think of the moms I talk with at the park or on play-dates. I am often able to find a few teachable moments, to share the wealth of information I possess about sexual and domestic violence, but in a non-threatening way. I talk with them about what violence against women is, so that when someone eventually discloses to them, they will have the knowledge and resources to support and believe them.

I choose, very carefully, what to comment on and when. I seek to make impact, not overwhelm people with “my world of violence against women.” It can in fact be very overwhelming, to those of us in the field, and certainly those outside of our world. I figure, if I can get one person to pay attention, one person to learn something new, or one person to have a new perspective on how to respond when a victim discloses a sexual assault, then I am making a difference.

Remembering...

Thu, 19 Jul 2012 08:00:00 -0700

I was running the other day and brainstorming about what my next blog would be about. I was reminded of many, many survivors I have come into contact with over the years who have shown amazing strength, courage, and perseverance. Here are a few snippets of their stories.

I remember the woman who was sexually assaulted by her best friend’s husband at a Halloween/birthday party. She reported a few days after the assault, and faced a responding officer who asked her if she was covering up an affair. This woman was incredible – she was so tenacious about her case that she went to her state representative after the local prosecutor’s office turned down her case (after receiving a letter informing her that her case had been dropped, and after the office refused to return her phone calls for several months). Three years after she was assaulted, her perpetrator was convicted of sexual assault, and required to register as a sex offender.

I remember a young man who was sexually assaulted by his cousin. This particular young man had been under the influence of drugs and alcohol during the assault, and did not remember anything, yet his cousin boasted about it the next day. The young male retaliated against his cousin, and then attempted suicide the next day. He was brought to the hospital in handcuffs, where he refused the forensic exam, even though it could potentially help him legally later on.

I remember a young woman who was out with some friends one night. She had three drinks and remembers very little, except for talking with an off-duty male police officer. Her next memory is in her apartment with him on top of her. Originally, this young woman didn’t want to report. She found the courage to do so, only to walk away after not being believed by the investigator.

I also remember a woman who came back to the agency I worked for over and over. This woman had a lifetime of assaults to share, starting with child sexual abuse. I supervised the advocate who worked with her over several years -- throughout her criminal case for the sexual assault that brought her to our agency -- the pregnancy and birth of her child which were the result of a second sexual assault -- the un-related domestic violence she experienced -- and the sexual assault that finally drove her out of our community to seek shelter in a rural area for safety. About a year after she left, she sent us a letter and picture of her son – finally feeling safe enough to contact us.

Every survivor I have had the honor of speaking with over the years brings a different story and experience. Some have positive experiences with the criminal justice and community response, others don’t. Some are believed, and some are not. I think about many of them often, wondering where they are now – are they safe, are they healing?

I know the survivors who haven’t been believed have a more challenging path ahead of them. I wonder, what if that wasn’t issue? What if we believed all of them, from the point of their very first disclosure?

Start by Believing - You Know What to Do

Thu, 12 Jul 2012 07:00:00 -0700

When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I start by believing.

It sounds simple enough. Yet the reality is we don’t expect someone we know to go through this. We don’t plan or rehearse how to respond to these kinds of things. So when someone we know tells us they’ve been assaulted, it makes sense that it could feel overwhelming. It might be hard to know where to start, what to do.

But the truth is, you already know what to do.

Think of a time when you’ve been vulnerable. Something bad may have happened unexpectedly. Or you felt unprepared for something that knocked you off course. Reflect on what stands out to you during this time, what helped you to feel supported and more confident again. It’s likely that small, often simple considerations or actions by others helped you to move forward.

Every survivor’s experience is unique, but what we hear over and over is that, following the assault, it was the simple considerations and compassion from others that mattered most. The willingness of a friend or neighbor to just listen. The patience of a detective that didn’t rush her as she was gathering her thoughts about the assault for the police report. An employer who allowed for flexibility following an assault, without having to know every last detail. And most importantly—what each of these examples conveys in its own way—is that she or he was believed.

Back in the 1980’s there was a study about women giving birth in a hospital in Guatemala. The study was accidentally ruined—in a good way—by a research assistant who was quietly recording notes about the births in the corner of the room. It so happened that the health outcomes associated with the births in which the assistant was taking notes were significantly better than the births where the assistant was not present. The researchers were stumped by what was causing this “interference” until they read feedback given by the moms. Many of the moms shared that what bolstered their confidence throughout their labor and delivery was “the woman in the corner watching over me.” As it turned out, it didn’t matter whether the researcher was doing or saying exactly the right things—or even saying anything at all. What mattered was that as these women went through the physical and emotional intensity of giving birth, that someone simply being in the room provided a feeling of companionship and support. Following these births, the women knew someone had been there with them and would believe their experience.

Obviously, there are significant differences between women giving birth and survivors of sexual violence. However, what we know from survivors, like the women giving birth in that study, is that a supportive person who believes them can positively impact their health outcomes. For survivors this can mean regaining a sense of safety, well-being and creating a path to healing. What an amazing opportunity we all have to play a small part in that process.

When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I start by believing.

Sarah McCoy-Harms

Project Manager, Transforming Communities (TC-TAT)

What Does Start by Believing Mean to You?

Thu, 05 Jul 2012 06:00:00 -0700

We’d like to hear what Start by Believing means to you! You can tell us in a few different ways.

You can:

Make a personal commitment
Post on our Facebook page
Use #StartbyBelieving when you tweet about sexual or domestic violence
Write a guest blog

If you’re interested in guest blogging for us, we ask a few things:

Please keep your posts to about 300-400 words
Use appropriate language
Submit your guest blog to socialmedia@evawintl.org for review. Please note, we reserve the right to edit, or refrain from posting.

“My name is Noel Harlow, Esq. I am the Legal and Advoacy Director for Center for community Solutions. When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing.”

When I chose to Start by Believing

Thu, 28 Jun 2012 06:00:00 -0700

I often think about the first victim I came into contact with as a sexual assault advocate. I was living in San Diego, and had only been there for a few months. I didn’t even know how to get to the hospital, and I remember feeling insanely nervous. I had only been in my position for a couple months, and hadn’t even been out of college for a year at that point. I honestly don’t know how I got that first job, I had no experience in the field!

This woman was active duty in the Navy. She was several years older than I was at the time, and had two young children. She was sexually assaulted by a male friend, off-base. She had no plans to report the assault, and only went to the hospital because she had some injuries. I was called out to talk to her, and some probably hoped I’d convince her to report. As the victim was preparing to tell me she wasn’t interested in my services, a police officer walked in. She was in no mood to talk to this officer, and after several minutes of yelling at him, she shouted “this is my advocate and she’s going to make you leave now!” Apparently my services were needed after all.

I spent hours talking with this woman. We talked at length about her children, her life, and her military career. She kept saying, I won’t report this because no one will believe me. I was giving her the typical advocate response of “I believe you”, but then I stopped. I finally asked her why she didn’t think anyone would believe her. She then disclosed that this wasn’t her first sexual assault. She’d been assaulted before, reported it to her command, and was told to keep her mouth shut.

I’ve wondered so many times what would have happened to this woman if someone had believed her. Would she have the same life she did when I met her? Would she have become an alcoholic? Would she have custody of the children she loved so much? Who would she be if someone, anyone, had believed her?

I can look back at that experience and count all the things I did wrong, but I know the one thing I did right, I chose to Start by Believing….

Alison Jones-Lockwood
Social Media/Outreach Coordinator, EVAWI

Make a Personal Commitment to Start by Believing

Thu, 21 Jun 2012 06:00:00 -0700

“My name is Cathy. I am Survivor, a law enforcement officer, and an advocate. I start by believing and get them support, help and justice! When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing.”

We’ve been reading through the personal commitments on our website recently. Some people keep it simple, just stating their name and the prepared statement, such as with this one:

“My name is Jeanine Thompson. I am sexual assault advocate. When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing.”

Others, however, speak more personally, such as this one:

“My name is betty. I am the mother of a daughter who was raped. When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing.”

We’ve received personal commitments from all professional disciplines: Law Enforcement Officers/Investigators, Forensic Examiners, Advocates, Prosecutors, etc:

“My name is Terence Coyne. I am a Criminal Prosecutor in RI Dept of Attorney General. When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing.

Of course, survivors have also come to our website to make personal commitments, such as the following:

“My name is Yvette. I am a survivor. I have learned that the more times I was not believed it opened the door for more abuse. Soon, I stopped telling. When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing.”

You can join the 900 individuals who have already made the commitment to Start by Believing.

Make the commitment. Make a change. Start by Believing.

Guest Blog from Catherine Johnson

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 06:00:00 -0700

I wear a bracelet on my right arm with the words, “I Start By Believing” imprinted in white. The bracelet is meant to bring attention to the Start by Believing campaign that was launched just over a year ago. The campaign is simple; if a person says they have been raped, start by believing. The bracelet sparks conversations with people on a pretty regular basis.

As a former police detective for a major metropolitan community, I had the opportunity to interview hundreds of rape victims. Some were young, some were old. They were of varying socio-economic status, gender, and race. Some were missionaries for their church while others were homeless, drug-addicted, prostitutes and everywhere else in between. The stories they told were as varied as the people telling them, but the one thing that stayed the same with all of those that had the courage to come forward was that they wanted to know someone believed them. They wanted to know that it wasn’t their fault; that they had done nothing wrong.

Recently I was asked what “Start by Believing” means to me. To explain what it means to me, I will first tell you what I think of when I hear “Start by Believing.” I think of the teenager who was molested by her stepfather who had the courage to report the abuse to her mother thinking the abuse would stop. It did, for a short time. Two years later she reported to a school counselor. The school counselor seemed to believe her, but her mother did not believe her. Law enforcement did not believe her. The perpetrator was never held accountable, but the abuse finally stopped. The young girl struggled for many years with self-blame and shame; she “knew” it was her fault. She felt somehow responsible until someone told her (and she was able to believe) it wasn’t her fault; that she had done nothing wrong.

I think of a young woman who was bound with duct tape and thrown in the trunk of her car after being raped. I think of the detective who said she was full of *&^% and refused to investigate the crime. The men may not have been held accountable if another pair of detectives and an advocate had not started by believing and the detectives let the facts drive the investigation.

I think of the first victim in what would be a serial rape investigation who was not believed by the detective. Four more women were victimized before the offender was held accountable.

I think of an incredibly strong elderly woman who said she started her life being sexually abused by her father and did not understand ending her life being raped. The first responding officer did not believe her.

I think of a group of women who were raped by the same man; a man who targeted high risk victims because no one believed them when they reported until two detectives started putting the pieces together and worked to hold the man accountable. By his own account he victimized hundreds of women over the course of seventeen years.

I think of a prostitute who was stabbed and bitten and did not come forward until another woman was raped. She did not come forward because she said the officers knew her and wouldn’t have believed her.

I think of the women who blamed themselves for one reason or another. I think of all the young men and women who are victimized every day; especially those that have found the courage to report and are then not heard; not believed.

So, what does “Start by Believing” mean to me? It means hope. Hope that victims will not be silenced when they try to tell someone what happened to them. It means a chance. A chance to hold offenders accountable. A chance to help start the healing process for victims of sexual assault.

Catherine Johnson
Board of Directors, EVAWI
Instructor/Training Coordinator, North Carolina Dept of Justice/Justice Academy

Start by Believing - What Does That Mean?

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 06:00:00 -0700

What does it mean when we say, you should Start by Believing? It means that the best thing we can do after someone tells us that they have been sexually assaulted is to believe them – before passing judgment, before assuming they aren’t telling the truth. So many victims share stories of how they finally got the courage to tell someone, only to walk away with the feeling that the one person they confided in didn’t believe them. What does this do to them in the long-term? What impact does it have on their healing?

Unfortunately, for many victims, it has a serious impact on their healing.

What if we could Start by Believing and help reduce the trauma? If we agree to Start by Believing, we all start at the same place, at believing the victim, and we can create a more positive community response.

Start by Believing isn’t just for community justice professionals. Most victims tell a friend, family member, teacher, or coach before they tell anyone involved in the criminal justice system. We must also reach those people, as they are a critical part of the victim’s ability to heal from the trauma.

Join the hundreds of people who have made personal commitments to Start by Believing, like Paul:

“My name is Paul. I am an Assistant Special Agent in Charge, Fort Hood Criminal Investigation Division, Fort Hood, TX. When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing

Make the commitment. Make a change. Start by Believing.

Start by Believing Campaign: One Year Later

Thu, 31 May 2012 06:00:00 -0700

In April 2011, we launched the Start by Believing campaign at the EVAWI conference in Chicago. Start by Believing is a public awareness campaign uniquely focused on the public response to sexual assault. Because a friend or family member is typically the first person a victim confides in after an assault, each individual’s personal reaction is the first step in a long path toward justice and healing. Knowing how to respond is critical—a negative response can worsen the trauma and foster an environment where sexual assault predators face zero consequences for their crimes.

The goal is to change the world, and outcomes for victims, one response at a time.

Here are some highlights from the past year:

Many people have used the SBB materials for their own community presentations -- in schools, law enforcement agencies, and multidisciplinary response teams, among others.
17 billboards featured the SBB message in the Kansas City metropolitan area, as a result of a new partnership with Lamar Advertising in Kansas City, MO. Lamar recently informed us that they will soon be running the SBB message in all their markets throughout Missouri.
Numerous communities are launching their own SBB campaign. A few examples include:
- West Virginia: Thanks to the West Virginia Foundation for Rape Information & Services
- Murfreesboro, TN: Domestic Violence Services and Sexual Assault Program in
- Bismark, ND: Abused Adult Resource Center
- Lake County, IL: Coordinating Council Committee
- As of today, 874 people have made their own personal commitments on the SBB website, saying they will “Start by Believing” when someone discloses that they have been sexually assaulted.

These efforts are incredible – and almost unimaginable in just a single year. Please help us do more. Spread the word, by forwarding this blog via your social media network. And join the 874 people like Kati Behrens, who made their own personal commitment:

“My name is Kati Behrens. I am an Assistant DA. When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing”.

Re-Launch of the Start by Believing Blog

Thu, 24 May 2012 06:00:00 -0700

You’ve probably noticed we took a hiatus from the Start by Believing Blog for a few months. As with many organizations, we too get bogged down with other projects and responsibilities, which take our attention away from things like social media. We do realize how important social media is, and how powerful it can be in the violence against women movement.

As we begin year two of the Start by Believing (SBB) campaign, we are excited to begin blogging on a more regular basis. In our weekly blog posts, you’ll find updates and trends related to SBB, including spotlights on local communities who have launched their own campaigns. We’ll talk about what it means to Start by Believing with the help of several guest bloggers. Watch out – you might be asked to be a guest blogger!

Please help us spread this blog via your social media network. And, as always, please consider making a personal commitment, such as this one below:

“My name is Devin K Trinkley. I am Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner, but I am also a mother and a grandmother. I think we owe it to our friends and family to believe in something... When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing”.

Start by Believing campaign builds momentum

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0700

Now we need you!

I am a law enforcement officer and had the opportunity to attend the EVAWI conference in April. I saw the "Start by Believing" campaign and got a bracelet. A week after returning from the conference I was assigned a sexual assault case that from the beginning the responding officer didn't believe. I looked at my bracelet and decided I was going to "Start by Believing." During my interview with the victim everytime there were things that were strange or didn't make sense I would look at my bracelet and BELIEVE! I obtained an indictment on the offender and the case is awaiting trial. I "Start by Believing"!!

This is one of the many people who have shared their personal story on the Start by Believing website. Over 500 have made personal commitments. The words are different, but the commitment is the same:

My name is Madeline. I am a college student whose best friend attempted suicide after two years of feeling she would be rejected for telling anyone about her rape. When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing.

My name is John Richards. I am a police officer in Nashville, TN. and respond to calls of sexual violence. The first step for the victims is believing in them and listening to them! When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing.

My name is Steve Bush. I am the father of a survivor of a serial rapist and a lifelong advocate for ending violence against women and supporting survivors and their families. When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing.

My name is Matt. I am a prosecuting attorney. As a prosecutor I have spent hours listening to friends and strangers tell me about their assault and what they have lost. When someone tells me they were raped or sexually assaulted, I Start by Believing.

Hundreds more have LIKED our Facebook page or signed up to get involved. We need you, too.

Visit startbybelieving.org and get involved today by sharing your story and/or personal commitment.

Where in the World Do We Start?

Fri, 29 Jul 2011 00:00:00 -0700

Tina Vaughn, Director of the Rape Recovery Team in Jacksonville, Florida wrote this powerful blog post on July 13, 2011. With her permission, we're reprinting it here, and we'd like to encourage anyone who blogs about the Start by Believing campaign to send it our way so we can share it with others as well. Thanks, Tina, and thanks to everyone who takes that first step to Start by Believing. . . .!

Where in the World Do We Start?

It IS indeed that easy.

Start by Believing is a public awareness campaign uniquely focused on the public response to sexual assault, because a friend or family member is typically the first person a victim confides in after a sexual assault. Knowing how to respond is critical - a negative response can worsen the trauma and/or deter the victim from reaching out for help.

Start By Believing will lead the way toward a positive community response, by informing the public, uniting allies and supporters, and improving our reactions. The goal is to change the world for sexual assault victims – one response at a time.

When I saw the first ad from Start by Believing, I was hooked - "My daughter died in a car crash"..."Well that's what she gets for not taking the bus."

I have heard it all in response to a rape victim's trauma - what was she thinking, what was she wearing, who was she with, did she go alone, how much did she drink, did she say no, did she fight back...insert other unfounded judgment statement here on to ad infinitum.

Let me pose a question. A friend tells us they are out one night and as they are walking to their car, they feel a gun at their back, and a voice from a person they will never identify demands all their money and valuables - do we ask if they said 'no'? What they were wearing? If they had a sudden burst of bravado and daring to wrestle the weapon from the stranger?

I love edgy outreach because, quite frankly, we're not talking about feeding hungry children, we're not talking about housing the homeless or asking for neatly wrapped toys to be placed under a Christmas tree in time to brighten a family's holiday - these things are easy to talk about; they tug at our heart, because they should, in a way we recognize and the stories create an urgency that moves us to action.

I want for a world that is moved to action over the bodily invasion of an individual so heinous and invasive that it permeates their psyche, creating more than an emotional or mental memory - but a physical one that lives on in the cells of their flesh. Our work is fueled by this cause and this hope.

The Start by Believing campaign is a gateway to a new way of receiving and responding to stories of rape - a new way of receiving and responding to those who have been raped.

We are proud supporters and look forward to building momentum around the movement right here in our own community.

The starting is easy...believe.

There. Step one - check.

In love and hope,
Tina Vaughn, Director of the RRT

Doing my part . . . .

Fri, 22 Jul 2011 00:00:00 -0700

I received an order today for Start by Believing materials. (As a reminder, we will ship SBB materials to you, all you need is to pay for the shipping!). As I stacked in bundles of brochures, posters and postcards, I stopped and realized I hadn't yet mailed out any postcards to my address list or to those I know who would be genuinely interested in this campaign. Here I have been posting and asking others to do their part . . . . and I hadn't.

Today, I'd like to encourage you to take a moment and share the Start by Believing campaign. Maybe it is forwarding the website onto your friends and family asking them to take a look. Maybe it is sending off 10 postcards to your co-workers. Maybe you can hang a poster in your local hospital/community center/library/etc. Big or small. . . it all makes a difference.

Start By Believing Featured

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 00:00:00 -0700

Thank you to the Kentucky DOCJT who recently featured the idea of the Start By Believing Campaign in its latest Summer 2011, Volume 10, Number 2. We are touched every single day with your commitments and stories. Please help us spread the word by discussing and sharing articles like this with your families, friends, and co-workers. This message is about a social change and our reaction to a very important issue. Feel free to share similar articles with us. We'd love to see them.

Launch of Start by Believing Campaign

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 00:00:00 -0700

End Violence Against Women International launched its Start by Believing Campaign during Sexual Assault Awareness Month in conjunction with their annual International Conference on Sexual Assault, Domestic Violence and Stalking in Chicago, Illinois, April 11 - 13, 2011. Start by Believing is a public awareness campaign uniquely focused on the public response to sexual assault. We would like to hear your thoughts about this campaign. . . . . .