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Describe a time when professionals, friends, or family members received a disclosure of sexual violence and they did Start by Believing. Or a time when they didn’t.
Feel free to identify yourself, or not. Responses will be posted here at the website for the
Start by Believing campaign. For other ways to get involved, click here.
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| Recent Stories |
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| I was raped by my boyfriend at the age of 13 I remember the day like it was yersteday. You know I wanted to say something but I was too scared of wat ppl would say. Coz we have been seen together for a while. Eventually the story came out at home that he had sexually abused me. And my older sister took me straight to the police station. It was the most horrifying day of my life. I was so scared n lonely n soo confused. Well the investigation took just over 5 months if I'm nt mistaking. And it was said that I had lied about the whole thing. I have never been so angry, embarrassed and humiliated in my life. And funny thing was nobody in my family took the time to talk to me about all this. They chose to believe that I had lied. I have been such a depressed teenager that they still dnt notice to this day. I cut myslef when ever I see him o think about him. I am suicidal and it scares me. I respect you women out there who can still stand strong even though no1 believes you. It is hard but we are made of steel and we will get through all of this. Just take baby steps. |
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| I am from Indonesia .. I am interested in this campaign .. I wanted to help victims of rape, fraud victim, victim of domestic violence .. how do I join internatsional women who pay attention to women victims helpless .. my email is anugerahjayaservice12@yahoo.co . id..my name ms. Daizy Florentina..thanks alot for the attention |
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| I woke up last morning on my couch in searing pain, with the pig that did this sleeping next to me. I didn't remember anything that happened. I sat up and told him to leave. I stood up and fell because I was in so much pain. I went to my bathroom and looked in the mirror. I had a black eye. After looking at the rest of me I found bruises all over and blood seeping out my backside. I then went into my bedroom. I found my sheets covered in excrement and blood. Disgusting hand prints covered my walls. I then told my fiance, and he broke up with me. He said "how did he get into your apartment? Maybe you just got a little more than what you asked for?"
I did not ask for this. I didn't ask for anything. When someone tells you they were raped, they were. Its not something to joke about and its not something someone should have to deal with alone. |
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| The attorney told me over the phone, “Chalk it up to bad experience and go find a nice guy.” This is how much people believe you when you tell them your spouse sexually abused you for 19 years.
I only called at the prompting of my first therapist right after I got divorced. When she heard the horror stories of the sexual abuse, the humiliation and torture I went through, she prompted me to seek legal counsel to have my ex-husband held accountable for his actions. The attorney told me no one would believe me, they would say I was a willing partner and it would be un-provable and the judge wouldn’t care. The attorney was unwillingly to even meet with me; I didn’t have a case.
No one understands the humiliation, the shame, the manipulation and the control that we experience as spouses of sexually abusive intimate partners. But they don’t live the nightmares and the flashbacks, and the panic attacks and anxiety that we live with because of the trauma.
Believe it when I tell you there were no signs. Believe it when I tell you I fight nightmares that wake me in such fear and trembling that I think my heart is about to burst out of my chest and explode against the ceiling. Believe it when I tell you the flashbacks won’t stop and I never know when they are going to start, that they become a reel of film that takes over your vision and you can’t even finish reading the newspaper article you just started or complete the status report you have to complete for your job because the only thing you can see is the flashback of those images of yourself in all those traumatic events you just want to wash away.
Believe it when I tell you sexual abuse exists prevalently inside of some marriages. Believe it when I tell you there is a world of people who condone it as acceptable behavior and never understand the trauma it creates.
But most of all, those of you have experienced sexual assault, sexual abuse of any kind, YOU CAN OVERCOME all the trauma and the nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks, anxiety and depression. It takes work, but I KNOW YOU ARE STRONG and it is worth the work and you do get to a BETTER LIFE. I have.
Christine Kerr, Phoenix AZ
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| Sometimes I want to die. I feel so hopeless. I feel so alone. I feel violated, disgusting, unwanted. I don’t remember. I want to. I want to remember. If I could just remember I could have stopped it. But there is nothing. There’s nothing there. No matter how much I smack myself, beat myself up over it, I can’t remember. I DIDN’T WANT THIS. I didn’t want to be raped. They said I begged for it. They said I wanted it. Why can’t I remember? I didn’t want this. When I woke up, I was horrified. When I found the blood in my underwear, my heart wrenched out of place and it still hasn’t fully returned to normal. It never will. They said it was consensual-consensual as I was falling over, hitting my head, falling into bathtubs, calling my best friend a man. Consensual as he left me out of fear. Consensual as my “friend” found me, trying to stumble into the crowded living room half-naked. Consensual as my friend had to help dress me.
NO. He used me. I was his sex toy. The first one said I was too drunk for him. Then my rapist went in. He RAPED me. He went in the bedroom. He KNEW I was too drunk, that I wouldn’t say no. Wasn’t able to say no. But it wasn’t me. Where was I that night? I wasn’t there….couldn’t have been. I have no recollection. Not even an inkling. But when I came to in the morning I could feel it…feel where he’d penetrated me. Stolen my virginity. I didn’t want this.
I went to that party without a care in the world. I went to that party feeling safe and comfortable, my best friend at my side. The one who said she wouldn’t let anything happen to me. The one who told him to do it. The one who said I consented to her. The one who agreed I begged for it. The one who said I got lonely. The one who agreed with me that it was rape. The one who agreed me with me but then turned her back after I pressed charges. When I needed her support the most.
I feel so worthless, like nothing. I’m a dirty slut. But I know I’m not. That wasn’t me. He used me. He RAPED me. He didn’t care about me. He went in there for sex. I was his disposable sex toy. A living, breathing, girl! So drunk that she was consenting, not realizing what it meant. A free pass. The perfect victim. Nobody would believe RAPE. She consented. THEN WHY DON’T I REMEMBER? WHY IS EVERY INSTINCT IN MY BODY SCREAMING NO?! NO YOU DIDN’T WANT THIS?
Oh yeah. Because it’s RAPE. You DIDN’T want this. COULDN’T have. He used you. He used me. He screwed me, took my virginity, and then left. Left me to wake up on the floor in the morning, terrified, blood in my underwear, unsure, my night a void.
HE RAPED ME. HE RAPED ME. HE RAPED ME. HE RAPED ME.
Why does no one believe me? Why does no one understand?
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| All Submissions |
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6/16/2013
I was raped by my boyfriend at the age of 13 I remember the day like it was yersteday.
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6/11/2013
I am from Indonesia .
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6/4/2013
I woke up last morning on my couch in searing pain, with the pig that did this sleeping next to me.
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5/23/2013
The attorney told me over the phone, “Chalk it up to bad experience and go find a nice guy.
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5/17/2013
Sometimes I want to die.
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5/3/2013
My daughter is 19.
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4/14/2013
There’s better living through painkillers.
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3/30/2013
i look to the perfect life, wher when i dont know but i like to meet new person new experience
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3/20/2013
"Start by Believing".
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3/18/2013
Sounds like a "shoot first ask questions later" approach.
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