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Describe a time when professionals, friends, or family members received a disclosure of sexual violence and they did Start by Believing.  Or a time when they didn’t.

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Recent Stories
My best friend finally had a boyfriend, a good guy too, and they were getting pretty serious. He was always over or she was at his house, there was never a time I could hang out with her without him. With me always third wheeling they started to feel bad. He decided to start inviting one of his best friends to come tag along and keep me company. His friend was strange, complimented me often, and sat a little too close at times. I didn't want to be rude or make things awkward between us so I put up with him for my best friend but also let him know we would only ever be friends. We all hung out everyday in the summer, yet I kept Mr. fourth wheel at a distance. He gave me a weird vibe, and my gut is trustworthy more often than not. One night the four of us went to a party, I knew everyone there quite well and wasn't afraid to let loose. I drank a little, smoked a little, and drank a little more. I threw up a little too, embarrassingly. When the party had died down I went to sleep on the couch until I was sober enough to leave. Then, he woke me up. He asked me to move over so he could sleep too, so I did. He kissed my neck, he pulled me in, he held me tightly. I tried to loosen his grasp and slurred the words "let me go." But he pulled me in tighter. He started to pull my shorts down, then silenced my "no"s by covering my mouth. I don't remember much else but I do remember he wasn't drunk and knew I wasn't interested. I remember sneaking down the stairs after he had fallen asleep to drunkenly cry into my friends lap for hours. I remember the texts he sent me the next day yelling at me for saying I didn't want it, and that I wasn't asking for it in the shorts I was wearing. What kills me is I still remember, and I'll always remember even though it has been years. I won't let it ruin my life, I won't waste another tear on that horrible boy, but I have learned from it and grew from it and if anything he has made me stronger.
I was a Freshman in college and very naive, there was a boy i wanted to like me so bad. Something had happened that day and we got in a fight. He texted me saying he wanted to talk so i went to his on campus apartment and thought nothing of it. i was wearing campus logo black sweats, a back tank top, red boot slippers, and my hair was in a high ponytail, swinging as i walked down the hall. He answered the door and i went inside...in his room he locked the door so that his other room mates wouldn't bother us. He said he was sorry for today and gave me a hug. i hugged him back and was so relieved he didn't hate me. He leaned in and started to kiss me....it surprised me...i had wanted this friend to kiss me for a very long time and here he was kissing me....so i kissed him back.he pulled my ponytail and pulled my face up to his, it hurt, hair was being pulled from my scalp and neck being forced back past comfortable. I told him he was hurting me, he pushed me and I fell backwards knocking the air out of my lungs, my head hit the side of the bed and it sends pain shooting behind my eyes and spreading to my neck. He climbs on top of me and continues to kiss me, I try to push him off and he threads his hands through my hair and pins me to the ground, the floor is hard and tight knit like the one found in an office and it feels rough, he caresses my face. "You deserve this! IT's what you have wanted...so stop crying and just take." he whispers in my ear over and over...other things happened...other humiliating things happened, but i am not sure i am ready to tell those yet.....i wasn't raped, but it was close. his room mate got home from class and he was interrupted. this friend talked the friend away saying he would meet him at the food court for a late dinner....after that he couldn't finish what he was about to do...i ran back to my dorm and hid. Most people don't understand that sometimes i have bad days...even though it's been years...i am turning 23 this year and i am now married to a husband who does understand and who does believe me, and always makes me feel loved. What happened to me at 19 has changed who i am and i still struggle, but things are changing and i will not let what happened to me define me....even though its hard every day.
I was raped on Halloween of 2014. Less than a year ago & im still having trouble dealing with the effects of rape. I have blamed myself countless times and asked why it had to happen. I've never felt such an incredibly strong pain. I remember after it happened, all I could do was cry and replay everything that happened in my head. I often think that maybe I wasn't raped because of how drunk I was. I have no memory of some parts of my story and that has effected me so much and my thoughts in dealing with what happened. I feel crazy at times because so many people didn't believe me. I went to my cousin Krystal's Halloween party. I had known everyone that was there except my rapist. He was the same age as me at the time, 16. He talked to me all night and taught me card games. He seemed like a nice guy. My cousin and her (ex) boyfriend were telling me throughout the night that he was a virgin and that I should sleep with him to "help him out" since I wasn't a virgin but I knew I didn't want to sleep with him. We all got really wasted, it was the most drunk I've ever been in my life. I remember that after everyone started to leave, me and him stayed in the living room of my cousins apartment while her and her boyfriend went in the bedroom to talk about their on again off again relationship. I didn't want to go in there because her boyfriend and I had gotten into a fight the weekend before about me "interrupting" so I felt like I had to stay out in the living room to sleep for the night. The person that raped me was staying the night with us so we just stayed on the couch watching a movie. I remember being there about to pass out when I felt him get closer and then all of a sudden he was kissing me. He told me to go to the bathroom with him after he had been touching me down there (I later found out he took my skirt off). I wasn't thinking and went with him, I was too drunk to stop him. I knew I didn't want all of what was happening to be really happening. The next thing I knew, he was raping me in the bathroom. I couldn't say anything or do anything. I was too scared. I blame myself for that. I remember him inside of me but not him stopping. I totally blocked that out like I did when he took my clothes off. I remember being left in the bathroom on the floor crying and trying not to be too loud. I woke up on the couch without my skirt on. I didn't really remember it until later when I was at work. I didn't tell my cousin who brought me with her boyfriends sister. I was still trying to put it together what had happened. I was at work and all of a sudden I broke out in tears. I called my sister who worked with me to come and talk to me so I could tell her what I thought happened. She called my cousin who said that I wasn't raped and that there was people in the apartment who checked on me at a certain time (after I was raped) sleeping on the couch. She said I couldn't have been raped and that he was her friend. I later was getting hate messages from her boyfriend on Facebook. I just wanted to die. I didn't tell my parents until I was forced to by my school. I had gone to school and acted like nothing happened then broke down in the bathroom where another student found me. I was so scared to tell my parents since I had been drinking and smoking weed. I thought I would get in trouble. I sometimes still regret telling them. I don't know why I'm still having such a hard time dealing with it. I ended up losing my job because I couldn't deal with it, I would freak out in the middle of work crying and not being able to breathe. The hardest part for me is the loneliness. I feel so alone all the time and isolated from everyone. Especially since I feel like I can't be helped. Nothing I do or nothing anyone says helps. It only makes me frustrated because they haven't been raped so I feel like they don't fully understand. I'm so depressed and have so much anxiety. I think about death all the time. I have a hard time accepting the fact that It really happened especially since no one really believed me and I didn't press any charges against him since I didn't feel I had any evidence. By the time the police were involved all the evidence was gone and I had only a few clear memories of what had happened. I was and still am confused by if it was real or not. My own cousin didn't believe me and he said that all he did was bring me to the bathroom to puke. But I could feel him touching me everytime I thought about it and I would see him. I had horrible flashbacks of it. No one ever helped me deal with it. My parents were worried about me for a few days after they found out then acted like it never even happened. I'm still so lost. And I still feel depressed all the time. I've tried to commit suicide once and I don't know what to do. I'm at the point where it is only showing on the inside and not outwardly so it appears to others as though I'm fine. Only my sister knows that I'm still not fine. I kind of go crazy sometimes and she has to calm me down and tell me that I'll be okay. I think about it all the time and I just want help. I never thought it would effect me this much. Talking about it has helped so I just wanted to share and hearing others stories makes me feel not so alone. So thank you to all of you brave survivors for sharing and helping me feel like I'm not alone.
It happened over 10 years ago. Truthfully when it happened I could remeber so many details. I was drugged but remebered when who and how. People say you don't remeber anything just know somthing happened. I did remember bits and pieces like a movie that has had bits and pieces cut out. Unfortunately now I can not remeber very much. I didn't want to deal with anything. I was a virgin when it happened. I remeber waking up to dry blood on me. I remeber more than one person on top of me. I remeber fading in and out. I think I said no but I'm not sure if it was in my head or not. I ignored it not wanting to hurt my parents or burden anyone. In retrospect I am more of a burden now. I am self medicating with alcohol. While I keep it under control and just drink when I find it necessary it gets hard to stop when I start. I keep trying to find a way to deal without telling anyone but find it close to impossible. My sister knows and my boyfriend. They are both supportive. I have told old boyfriends before to try and explain to them why sometimes I just don't want to be touched. They always used it against me to make me feel like a slut and get whatever they want from me. My boyfriend now is nothing like that but I feel as though it was so long ago should I even be bringing it up. He tries to get me to talk about it and is very supportive but I am still scared because of the men in my past. I am truthfully not sure why I started writing about this bit felt like I needed to get it off my just. I feel like I need help but not sure if it even matters anymore and what I should do.
I was 13 when I got raped. I had been waiting for my mom after I had played and watched a guy I liked play a basketball game. My friend had been there, but left after half-time of the boys game. My friend and I had seen I group of hot guys earlier. When I went outside to check if my mom was there after half-time, when my friend left. I saw the hot guys outside sitting on the picnic tables outside and they called me over. There where three of them over there. They said, "dang girl you are gorgeous." I was so flattered of course I was happy to talk to them no one was ever forward with me. They asked me to go in the old gym to play I little game of basketball. I said yes as most people would have. Stupid me for think we were just going to play basketball. We played for about 10 minutes before a guy said "damn, you box out hard. It's kind of making me hard." I was kind of laughing thinking he was just a perverted joker, as there are so many nowadays. Then we stopped playing basketball and they convinced me to play truth or dare. A couple rounds came around and they dared me to give one of them a blowjob I refused, but they would not give up. Two of them held me down while one of them shoved their penis into my mouth. Then, they pulled down my pants and double-penetrate me. (double-penetrate= stick a penis in the vagina hole and the anal hole) They kept taking turns with me I was so tired from fighting for a good 15 minutes. I just stopped trying to fight and just let it happen. So I could get it over with and get as far away as I could. I was a virgin before this and the pain of it was endless I was sore for a week later. They were forced to finish because a guy that used to go my school, but changed that year Wales in on them and told them that they were just being cruel. I ran off and ended up having a panic attack and passed out in the locker room for about 15 minutes. When I woke up I went outside to find my mom. It turns out she had been there for 30 minutes looking for me everywhere. I didn't tell her because of how embarrassed I was. It was awful and I can't believe that is what I have to remember about those boys.
All Submissions
 
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6/24/2015
My best friend finally had a boyfriend, a good guy too, and they were getting pretty serious.
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6/23/2015
I was a Freshman in college and very naive, there was a boy i wanted to like me so bad.
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6/23/2015
I was raped on Halloween of 2014.
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6/19/2015
It happened over 10 years ago.
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6/18/2015
I was 13 when I got raped.
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6/12/2015
Three years ago I was raped, I was at a party and this very attractive guy kept hitting on me and we flirted, we kissed and that's it.
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6/12/2015
I was sexually abused/assaulted by my father from the ages of 2-8 years old.
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6/11/2015
One time when I was 4/5, my family and I went to my friend's grandfather's house in Maine.
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6/9/2015
I was 18, 2 days before I turned 19.
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6/2/2015
I was sexually assaulted when I was 8.
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